Friday, October 22, 2010

Dreaded Clinic 10/21/10

I have been dreading clinic for the last 10 days. When we got home from last clinic, Cami woke up with a high fever and a horrendous headache. She just cried and cried. We called her Oncologist- she sent us straight to the ER. Cami was either awake screaming or dosing off in the car the entire ride out to Primary's. She was in pain and it sucked. When you go into the ER carrying a child with a bald head they take you right back... no waiting when you have Cancer- its kinda scary. After giving her some antibiotics, tylenol and checking her blood they said she was getting a cold and sent us home. The next 5 days are a blurr. Cami was SO sick! She was nauseous, had horrible headaches and leg pain. It was bad! After talking to a few of my "cancer mom" friends I figured she had gotten a bad spinal tap but there was no way of knowing for sure if that was the case or if it was the higher dose of chemo giving her those side effects. I felt so bad for little Cami, and there wasn't anything I could do for her. It was heart breaking! After about 5 days she started feeling better and the headaches passed. BUT...I just kept thinking about our next clinic and the HIGHER dose of chemo that was to come. Cami's home care nurse came to draw some blood and check Cami's counts on Wednesday. Sure enough clinic called and told me counts were high enough to up her dose again. I didn't sleep that night knowing I had another week of vomit, screaming, and watching my child in pain. I was dreading clinic, but I got up the next morning and forced a smile. I asked Cami if she was ready to go do a craft and see her friends at clinic... all the while thinking: ready to get stuck by a giant needle and pumped full of poison while they try and distract you? We made it to clinic and it was the same old drill: Waiting room, craft, vitals, poke, talk to Doctors, Dr. exam, Methotrexate infusion, Vincristine push, flush line, remove dressing, de-access port, make appointment for next time. The Doctors were a little worried about Cami's walking. She is beginning to get a side effect from the Vincristine called "foot drop". They brought in a physical therapist to asses her. She showed me some exercises she can do at home to re-train her legs to walk correctly before it gets worse. After clinic we went home and Cami fell asleep. This is exactly what happened last time so I was gearing up for her to wake up in pain and agony. She slept until 6. Pat ended up waking her up, she woke up with a HUGE grin on her face. She said her legs hurt a little, but NO headache and NO nausea! After I gave her medicine for her leg pain she was dancing around the house like nothing happened that day. We watched her like hawks that night, but she was normal and this morning she woke up as happy as can be asking to go to school. I am BEYOND relieved!! I guess last week it was just a REALLY bad spinal tap after all.

I know it is only going to get harder and harder to take Cami to clinic. It seems like the minute she starts feeling better, its time to go get more chemo which will just make her sick all over again. Im not going to sit here and say it is easy taking my daughter to get poked, and pumped full of medicine and poisons. She cries and begs to go to school instead. Its not fair for her and its painful for me to force her to do something that is SO not fun. It is HARD, but I think of it as short term pain for a long term gain, and it will all be worth it in the end. I read this quote today (on facebook of all places) and it fit perfectly-

"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere."
-Frank A. Clark

This quote can be applied to almost anything in life, but right now its all about cancer for me and I am just so grateful that this week we have a lot less obstacles than we did last week.

Making a fun spider Halloween craft-

waiting..waiting..waiting for the Docs to come in.

Loving the spider friend she made (his name is spook-fluff).

Skipping out of there.. happy to be done!

Clinic stats:
Height: 106
Weight: 17 kg (37.4lbs.)
ANC: 1000

**Because Cami received such a high dose of chemo this time, they expect her ANC to drop below 500. This is her "danger zone". Please keep in mind that by next week Cami can get sick very easily. We love you all, but please STAY AWAY if you are sick. REALLY!!! We will throw rocks and/or pumpkins at you if you come near us with a stuffy nose. That is all. Thank you!


  1. hahaha... eric and i both laughed at your little "announcement" at the end. seriously stay away. :) i loved the "we will throw rocks/pumpkins at you". hehe.

    poor cami! i'm sorry that she's been feeling so awful. that is so hard for her and so hard for you guys! watching your child in pain/being sick is the worst. poor, poor girl! i'm glad things went a little smoother this last time. hang in there!

  2. that sounds horrible! i can barely handle it when my kids are "normal" sick with colds and runny noses. loved the quote you shared though, very appropriate! sending hugs your way!

  3. Ahh! I am so sorry she (and you) had such a bad experience last time. We are all pulling for you guys and praying for you, too.

  4. Im so sorry her last clinic was awful but so glad that she is doing better with this one. Thank you so much for coming to see us that day, it ment alot to me. Please tell Cami that I LOVE the book she made for Skyler and I have already read it to him a couple of times! You guys are constantly in my thoughts and am praying that this week will be alot better than the last.

  5. So glad to hear that she doesn't have all the side effects this week. I hope she is still feeling good and waking up with smiles!

  6. I am so glad everything went better this go round. Cami looks adorable in her MJ. Millie has that exact outfit, but her shirt is a little on the tight side. What size is yours? The spider Cami made with Pat is way cute! I hope Cami is still dancing around.
    Stay strong!

  7. Hahaha Chelsea your so awesome....I love your posts you always hit how it feels right on the nose. This is so crappy and there is no way to describe how painful it is to watch them inject poison in to our kids then send us on our way until they get to do it again at the next appointment...what a croc....Im so glad Cami did so good this time! Livi did too, it was a good WEEK!!!

  8. **HUGS*** to Cami and to you Chelsea! You guys are tremendously amazing. I love the quote!

  9. I will volunteer to sit on your porch and throw pumpkins to protect Cami.

    Glad the clinic went better than expected.

  10. NO one will ever know what you have to do to these kids to make them better unless you have to do it yourself! YUCK! So sorry about that but so happy that she has such an amazing family for support. You guys are amazing! The main thing is to keep keep smiling just like you did when you woke her up for her next clinic knowing what it might hold instead of throwing a rock through the window which is what you must have felt like! You're in our prayers!

  11. I am glad that so far this week is going well. We will pray for an easier week for you all!

  12. SO glad you are not getting a repeat of HELL-WEEK! Cami continues to amaze me and I'm so happy she is handling the higher dose of chemo. It's been so wonderful to see her out of bed, playing and having fun this past weekend! I'm so happy she gets a break from clinic before the next DREADED phase! Chel, you are a wonderful Mom and I'm very proud of you! I love you!
    ~ Grandma Di-Di

  13. What an amazing mother/daughter duo you are! So happy to hear that last clinic was MUCH better....the side affects that is! You make me laugh with this whole pumpkin throwing business. A mother's go to do what a mother's got to do :)

  14. Chels- YOU never fail to amaze me. I can NOT even begin to imagine what you go through every day. The worry- the uncertinty, the stress. Seeing your daughter in pain. Oh. YOU AMAZE ME and make me want to be a better mother & person! Thinking of you always!


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