Saturday, September 4, 2010

Grandma Betty

Hearing that your child has cancer is one of the most devastating, life altering things a parent can hear. It feels like your whole world is caving in on you all at once and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Its was a HUGE "perspective moment" for me. Suddenly the pile of laundry, what to make for dinner, the disagreement with Pat, the spilled juice on my newly mopped floor all just don't seem to matter anymore. It still takes practice, but I am trying my hardest to appreciate my kids, to listen to what they are saying instead of just nodding and saying "oh, thats great honey". Im trying to soak them up. Enjoy every second I have with them.

This is all so easy to write about as I am typing and they are sleeping (looking so cute and peaceful), but it is a lot harder to put it into action on a day to day basis. At times it seems impossible to be loving, gentle and kind when life is happening and things get crazy all at once.. when all I want to do is pull my hair out and scream!! Lately Caden has been getting his 2 year old molars- that combined with not being able to go anywhere and being shipped off to babysitter after babysitter he has basically been a nightmare. At times the last week I have wanted to scream and lock myself in my room.

Then today I was given another "perspective moment". I think we are all given these events or moments in our lives where we are forced to take a step back and think to ourselves: I can do better. I will never take my loved ones for granted again, even through the hard times. Its actually following through that's the hard part.

Today was My Grandma Betty's funeral. Grandma was the sweetest, kindest, most loving, giving, thoughtful amazing woman. I wish I could show you all she did for her family throughout her life. If I could, I would show you the fabulous meals she made us, each one was set with china, linens, and a meal I couldn't describe even if I tried. I would show you her house, how organized and neat it always was and how she welcomed anyone and everyone to her perfectly set dinner table. I would show you her career at Hill Air Force Base and how she was the top ranked civilian (of men and women) when she retired. I would show you the amazing seamstress she was and all the gorgeous dresses she made all 6 of her granddaughters. I would show you so many things about this amazing Grandma of mine, but mostly I would show you what an example she was of putting her family first and loving us without judgment, or expectations. She was a great example to me, and I am so grateful I was blessed to have her as my Grandma. I am so grateful for the lessons she is teaching me even after she is gone. I know she is watching over our family and especially little Cami as she goes through this difficult trial.

If I could live my like with even a fraction of the love, grace, compassion, and service this woman lived hers I would be happy. What an example she was. I am so grateful that today I was, once again, reminded of how fragile life is and how fast it goes by. I sure needed that reminder because I was loosing it to a certain teething 2 year old.

Love you Grandma Betty, I cant wait to give you a big squeeze again someday!


Grandma Betty "soaking up" our sweet, newborn Cami.
You can just feel the unconditional love she has in this photo.

8 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for your and your family's loss! She sure sounds like a sweet lady! Grandma's are so great, thanks for sharing this Chel! If you need anything please let me know! Love you guys!

    Love Nat

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  2. How wonderful that you can write so beautifully about this amazing person. You are partly her and it already shows! Love and sympathy to you all from all of Eyrealm!

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  3. I just need to tell you again how much I love you. Your writing always touches my heart. You are always in our thoughts and prayers.

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  4. Oh grandma betty...How much we will ALL miss her and all she did for us. Chel thank you for this post...it makes me step back and remember to do the same thing and enjoy the LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE! I love you and I love your writing! Im so lucky to have you as my sister!!! xoxo

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  5. That wonderful, beautiful, classy, gracious, loving woman lives on in you and Boo. She made the best "clouds" EVER! She will always be adored, remembered and missed!

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  6. I'm sure she's looking down on you and she's so proud of you and all that you are able to withstand. You have a beautiful perspective on life, sometimes these challenges teach us that. I know that my perspective has altered so much. I no longer worry about what color to paint the living room, now I'm more concerned with how happy my kids are, especially when we get to be together as a family for awhile.

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  7. what a sweet post. i'm sorry for your loss - she sounds like an amazing, beautiful lady.

    i know what you mean about gaining awesome perspective, but struggling to put it into practice in day to day life - especially when steroids are also in the picture! :) i sometimes wonder why it is still so darn hard and what it will take for me to get it! :) i guess just lots and lots of practice - and the Lord's grace. hang in there!

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