Saturday, July 10, 2010

Tiny hand.



Friday July 9th started like any other day for us. The kids woke up, we got them their morning sippy, turned on Mikey Mouse, and snuggled with them in bed until Pats alarm went off. After we ate breakfast and got Daddy off to work Cami played with her dear friend Elle Lee, while Caden and I went to Costco. When I got home from Costco my neighbor (Colby, Elle Lee's Dad) mentioned to me that Cami wasn't acting like herself and that she just wanted to sit in a stroller in his garage the entire time I was gone. He also mentioned that he noticed her limping a little. I remembered she had been complaining of hip pains for the past week, but I watched her walk and couldn't see anything different so I figured she was just tired. I took her in and gave both the kids some lunch. After lunch I noticed she was acting mellow and almost "zoning out" at times. I had an overwhelming feeling to call her pediatrician.

I felt almost silly when the nurse asked me her symptoms, and I'm sure she rolled her eyes when I said "her hips have been hurting for a few days, and she is acting really mellow". There was only one appointment left at 4:30, and I almost didn't take it because Pat and I had plans to go out that night and I needed to be in Salt Lake by 5:30. Once again I was prompted to take her to that appointment. When we got there, our amazing pediatrician (Dr. Randy Reese) checked Cami's ears, nose and throat. He looked at her hips and asked her about the pain (they weren't hurting her at the time). He said she looked absolutely healthy. He was about to send us home, when he noticed Cami looked a little pale. He handed me a prescription to get her blood drawn. He said it was probably nothing, but he just wanted to make sure she didn't have a deeper infection we were missing. He said I wouldn't get results until Monday. When I got downstairs to the lab they were about to close down for the night, but for the second time that day we caught the last slot. They took her blood and off we went, but not before stopping for ice cream because Cami was such a trooper getting poked. Little did I know this was something we'd both get very used to in the days to come.

Around 11:30 that night I got a phone call from Dr. Randy. He said "I'm so sorry to call you so late, but I got Cam's blood work back and there were some irregularities, you need to wake Cami up and take her to Primary Children's Hospital right away, Ive talked to a Dr. there, and they are expecting you". My heart sank. I knew he would never call me that late, and make me wake her if it wasn't serious. We raced to the hospital. The rest of that 8 hour night is a blur of tests, IVs, screams, waiting, wondering, crying..no scratch that...sobbing, and then KNOWING. I cant describe what I felt the moment they told us they were sure it was cancer. I couldn't look at Cami without bursting into tears. I couldn't look at Pat without bursting into tears. I couldn't stand or even stop shaking for that matter. I just rolled into a ball on that ER bed. I couldn't focus on anything but the tiny hand I felt on my back and how that tiny hand was full of a big, ugly, scary cancer. It all seemed so unfair.

I had a million questions, I didn't want answered. How can a body so little and fragile fight off such a terrible disease? What kind was it? What stage is she in? Did I feed her something or expose her to something that caused this? How long has she been suffering through this? Why is this happening to my baby girl? How can my heart ever handle this heartache? Those questions were left unanswered until morning. They told us we would be admitted to the hospital and taken up to "a room". We followed a nurse pushing Cami's tiny body (in what seemed to be a gigantic wheelchair) through double locked, security guarded doors where they ask if you've washed your hands (twice). Once through the doors we were in a world I had only seen in movies. We were surrounded by medical supplies of every kind all mixed in with toys, kids drawings, I noticed an empty bike in the hallway, which, by the way made me break into tears again. It was almost an oxymoron: a bike in a hospital hallway, its just not right. It was a home for sick kids, kids just like my kid. A place where people understand us, and are going through the same things. A place to help make me feel comfortable. A place to make new friends. A place to talk, plan and map out a battle plan to beat this. It was a place for hope. Only, it was a place I DIDN'T want to be a part of.

The next morning we met Dr. Verma (one of Cami's Oncologists). She was direct and to the point. She gave us Cam's official diagnosis. Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia B-cell (or Pre B-cell ALL). She explained that this was the easiest type of leukemia to treat and that kids Cam's age had a 80-90% cure rate. She told us that all 3 of Cami's blood cells were way low, which means she gets infections easily, cant heal or fight off those infections easily, and has less oxygen in her blood. She explained that most parents are too overwhelmed and overloaded with information so she would just take us day by day. This was not going to work for me. I kept asking questions and she got the hint, finally she pulled out a dry erase marker and gave me a play by play of our "fight" for the next 3 years. She explained in great detail leukemia and how our bone marrow produces blood cells, she told me how to clean my house to keep germ free for Cam, she told me what she should eat, and how it should be properly cooked. She told us how important hand washing and keeping anyone sick or that even COULD be sick away from Cam. She told us we had hope and that this medicine would take a toll on her little body, but ultimately it would kill this terrible cancer in her blood. She spent a good 45 minutes "teaching" me and explaining all my questions. I cant even tell you how amazing that was for me. I realized later how valuable her time is, and how caring, compassionate, and truly amazing that was for her to spend that time breaking things down for me and even writing them on the board. We are really blessed to have such an understanding Doctor.

Doctor Verma's lesson was exactly what I needed. When I walked through the halls for the second time instead of feeling mad or sad that we were here, I saw the loving faces. I heard it when people said things like "you'll make it through this", and "good job, you caught it early". I saw the happy normal (besides being bald) kids playing, laughing, coloring, and dancing. I saw Mom's who looked like they had actually slept and showered (something I never thought I'd be able to do again). It made me feel comfortable to see others going through the same thing with their kids. I saw kids of all ages dealing with the same tubes, pokes, medicines, surgery, and pain. I saw them playing and being normal. Most important they had smiles, they were laughing. I had hope. I was ready to be there for Cami in every way possible.
I was ready to buck up and beat this thing.

As I write this Cami has had surgery to put a central line in, a bone marrow biopsy, spinal tap, 2 blood transfusions, and 2 rounds of chemo (she'll get another round before we leave). She is on steroids, anti-nausea meds, pain meds, acid reflux meds, antibiotics, ani-constipation drugs, a drug that controls the acid in her liver, an IV drip, and they are taking her vitals every 1-2 hours. The sheer volume of drugs going into her little body astounds me. At one point she had 8 different wires connected to her. She has been such a trooper through this entire process. She keeps saying "sorry we have to be here Mommy". That's just our Cami, easy going and worried about others. It breaks my heart to see her going through all this pain, but she is so much stronger than I am. She is so brave. She has already seen more pain than I probably felt my entire life, yet today she was singing as she washed those tiny hands for the 1000th time. Those tiny hands that are covered in wires as she sleeps, and her tiny arms which are bruised and battered from so many needles. I am amazed at how strong she has been. Truly amazed.

Yes, we have been through a lot, but (from what I hear) this is nothing compared to what is to come. Our new life is needles, Chemo, drugs, and a grumpy little girl (the steroids she will be taking the first month cause rage, anger and weight gain). For the first month Cami will have 6 different types of Chemotherapy. We will be coming in for treatments at least once a week. She will have blood transfusions as needed and bone marrow removed twice a month (this is a painful procedure which she will be put out for) she will be taking the steroids twice a day along with the slew of other meds I mentioned (those meds are just to help with the side affects of the chemo, steroids and bone pain). Her hair will fall out, she will feel sick and weak. Then after that first month of Chemo+steroids she will be put on just intense chemo once a week for 7 months. After we have endured through those 8 months we will be in the "maintenance phase" which will be chemo once a month for 3 years. We are told this phase is easier and this is when her hair will start to grow back and she will begin to feel better. We have a long road ahead, but its one we know we can face and we are ready.

Out of all the terrible things we have been through and all the horrific things to come, we have had many amazing moments. We have seen and felt the work of our Heavenly Father first hand: my neighbor feeling the need to let me know his concerns about Cami's disposition and limping, my prompting to make (and take) that last appointment of the day (it was Friday and we would have had to wait till Monday to see her pediatrician again), the intuition Dr. Reese had to order those labs (he told us later how close he was to sending us home and that he's convinced it was divine intervention), the fact that the labs were even processed that night before they closed is a miracle in itself. We have had so many little things that have added up to one giant incredible and at the same time horrifying experience. Ill tell you, if there's one thing I have learned so far, it is to listen to that small voice inside, even if it is telling you to do something that seems silly. I am extremely grateful for those people who listened to that small voice inside and helped us get to the help that Cami's little body so desperately needed.

70 comments:

  1. Chels,
    I can't even begin to understand how you feel, I am praying for you and your family. Please let me know if I can help.

    Carissa

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  2. Poor little girl, hang in there and be strong for her !!

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  3. Chelsea I am in complete tears! My heart aches for Cami and your sweet family and I am praying for you constantly. She will fight this thing so easily and be herself again in no time, I just KNOW It! Be sure and update us often and PLEASE PLEASE let me help in anyway possible...I am only a block or so away! Love ya!

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  4. Pat and Chel,

    I know that there is no way to understand what you are going through. But I am going to continue to pray for the strength and courage for your family and of course little Cami. I love that little girl so much. when I heard the news my heart broke I just couldn't believe something so evil could harm such an amazing little girl. I think about her daily and miss her very much. Please let me know if there is anything I can do at all. I would be happy to help with anything!!!!

    Please tell her hello and I love her for me.

    Love you guys be strong and hang in there. You will get through this.

    Love Meagan
    <3

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  5. One word. WOW. It's horrible, but amazing at the same time... more horrible, but ya i'll give it amazing. I'm so sorry guys, that it had to be her.. i wish it could have been me.
    Luv ya

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  6. I just can't believe you guys are going through this. It seems surreal. I'm so sorry for the emotional pain you guys are going through......and the physical pain Cami's going through. She can and will beat this! Stay strong & know that you will be blessed! ;) You are so strong!

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  7. Please know that you have all of our thoughts and prayers.

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  8. Cami and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!! Please keep us updated often.

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  9. What an AMAZING, STRONG & BEAUTIFUL little girl you have there. . . Maybe she gets it all from her mama! ;) You, pat & Cammers are in our hearts, our prayers & our thoughts! Please Please Please update often and let us know if there is anything we can do. xoxo The Ohlsons

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  10. Chelsea and Pat,
    That is so amazing how everything worked out. So awful to get those results. I am in tears reading your post. Please give that precious girl a big hug from me. You both are amazing parents and will help her through this, she CAN get through this. She seems like such a little fighter! If there is ever anything I can do, babysit your son while you have appointments or anything please just let me know. Thanks for sharing your incredible weekend and I will look forward to your updates!
    Love Christy Gilvear

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  11. Chelsea, your cute family and sweet Cami are in my thoughts and prayers!
    Lisa Linford (Josie's mom)

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  12. We make freeze-pop home deliveries!!! : ) Cami can have as many "orange" freeze-pops as she wants...Parents permitting of course!...We can also make evening Dairy Ann trips too...We are here for you and will gladly help in any way that we can...Cami is blessed to be surrounded with sooooo much love!

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  13. My heart sunk when I heard about your poor little Cami. I'm sorry you guys. We'll be praying for you and for Cami. The Lord is obviously watching over you. Stay strong. You're so lucky to have such a brave little girl. If you ever need someone to watch Caden, I'd love to help out.
    Steff Sellers Clark

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  14. My heart goes out for you. I can't fast, but my husband has fasted. We are praying for you and your family every single prayer uttered in this home. I know the strength that comes through prayer and constant pleading with the Lord. I hope that you will feel His love and his strength carrying you through these rough times. I can't imagine the depths your heart has felt. My love and support is with you.
    Shantell Kaspar

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  15. Chels, My heart sank when I heard this horrible news. Cami is so amazing and is my new hero! My uncle just finished chemo and is cancer free after only discovering it six months ago! We are so lucky to have such amazing dr.'s so close to home. Thank you for creating this site, we love you and are thinking about you often!
    Jeff & Brooke Baker

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  16. You guys are amazing. Its incedilbe to hear your story of how everything fell into place. It all happens for a reason. Cami is a tuff little girl. I know that because I have seen her stand up to the cute little brother. Please let us know what we can do. You little guy can come play anytime you need him to..

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  17. I am so sorry for the trials you're facing at this time with Cami! I am in tears reading about this and I am amazed at your strength and appreciate your willingness to share the testimony you have that will help you get through this time.
    My prayers are with your family and I hope for the best!

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  18. I don't even know what to say, but I am so truly sorry. I've been just sobbing reading this and I don't even know your sweet little Cami. I'm amazed at how you are dealing with this. Keep your spirits up, I'm sure it will be difficult. Your family will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  19. Dear Carvers,

    When we heard the news from Natalie and Tony, we could hardly believe it. We want you to know that we are thinking and praying for your family and especially sweet little Cami. Your story is so personal and probably hard to write, but thank you for sharing it. Heavenly Father loves us all and He will be watching and caring for your sweet little girl. Tell Cami to keep smiling. Let us know if you need anything.

    With love,

    Amanda and Benj Bradshaw

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  20. hey, this is lyssy! I can not beleive, really i cant how this little adorible, sweet, loving, caring girl can go through this, its not fair at all!!!! tell cami i am always thinking about her and i love her more than anything! good luck cam and keep your courage!!!
    <3, lyssa

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  21. Pat and chel,
    you are amazing parents and you have an amazing little girl. I can pi
    just picture her singing her little Disney songs. Kiddos are so tough aren't they? It brings a whole new meaning to become as a little child. Give your little Datong a huge kiss from me! Love you guys!

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  22. What strong amazing people you are and that little girl of yours is truly amazing as well. I know she will pull through...and happily, that's just who Cami is. Keep up the spirits! My cousin had leukemia at the age of 2 and still 29 years later she is in remission. There is hope, there is a savior and there are friends...me being one those friends who will keep you in our prayers...we love you!

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  23. Pat and Chelsea,
    We were so sad to hear your news. I can't imagine the pain and worry you two must be going through. Know you are in our prayers! I have only met Cami a few times, but she seems to be so sweet and brave. It takes special parents to fight this disease, I know you two will be lifted up and able to handle each new challenge that comes with the process of curing her little body. I am just so sorry, please if you need anything, even dinner let me know.

    Rachel and Cameron Bott

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  24. What a blessing to have each other and the many who will be the hands of our Savior during this difficult time. Your belief in a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior who has walked the path will be a North Star, a constant, during this difficult time. How wonderful to have already recognized His tender mercies. Our love and prayers will be with you always.
    Bob and Lauri Moncur

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  25. I heard about this terrible news from Justin and immediately my heart sank for you both. I just can't imagine. I have a personal soft spot for children inflicted with any infirmity disease or otherwise, as I'm sure any mother does. I want to help any way I can. Our prayers will be on your behalf, we are amazed at your faith and immediate courage!
    -Ashleigh

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  26. sigh, i've been where you are on many levels. this ics is where we go to stay too. my daughter had a liver transplant a few months back and reading your post took me back. you will find so much good on this journey and it will be more than you can bare at times, so lean on who you can. you'll be surprised at what you are capable of doing--super-hospital-mom. xoxo lizzie badger. (saw on melissa parker's fb)

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  27. My brother, Colby (Larsen), just told me about your story. Your family is in my prayers. It's wonderful how much hope and comfort the gospel can give you during such a difficult time. I look forward to reading about her progress. You guys will pull through this.
    xo

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  28. Pat, Chels, and Cami,
    You guys are such an amazing family and I am sure you will get through this very hard time. Chelsea, you did a great job with writing your feelings and your experience. The pictures are heart breaking. You both are such strong amazing parents and it is great to see the support you have surrounded yourself with. Please let me know if you need anything. love ang

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  29. I just want you guys to know that my prayers are with you. I have read this blog and my heart is so full. Your testimonies just shine through all this heartache you are going through. Thank you for that.
    I pray that through priesthood blessings, your faith and your love for each other will help you get through yet another trial you are having to face.
    I am here if you need me. And my family and I will continue to pray in your behalf.
    All my love, Shandi

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  30. Pat, I haven't seen you for years but when I heard of your daughter's diagnosis yesterday I just wanted to cry. I have 3 daughters myself and I can't even imagine how scary it must be. From reading this blog I can tell you and your wife are courageous and strong and have a plan to beat this together.
    It is wonderful to already see the Lord's hand in getting her into the hospital so quickly. (We used to see Dr. Reese-- he IS awesome.)
    Your daughter is so adorable (her smile just melts my heart!) and I will definitely remember all of you in my prayers.
    Love,
    Melene' (Barnes) Hauck

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  31. Dear Cami & family,
    Oh, do I recognize the lingo & even names in this blog! PCMC is far too familiar as we have been battling to save a daughter with a massive, inoperable tumor for a very long time. God has granted us many wonderful blessings for which we are eternally grateful. This journey has not been without pain, suffering & much sacrifice on the part of our entire family. It is why two of our sons are currently serving missions in NY & Russia. The gospel becomes even more precious when we understand the eternal perspective.

    Now once again, new tests show that time has on it's running shoes, but we do not give up on the Lord. He is the only one who truly knows our time here on earth. Miracles happen through Him!

    Love & blessings to your beautiful family & little Cami as you all journey through this event in your lives. Indeed in our prayers. ~ Tammy

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  32. We love you! Cami is super strong and so brave. You can fight this. 80-90% cure rate. That is amazing! I know we are far away, but we will help! Let us know!

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  33. Carver Family.
    I'm So sorry to hear about Cami, but I know that she will make it through this!! My prayers are with Cami and her family!

    Tell her that I love her and Miss her!

    Love,
    Sarah

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  34. What a strong and incredible mother you are being. I am not sure that I would be able to handle things the way it sounds you are. I have your family in my prayers.

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  35. Oh, Chelsea! My mom just called me and told me about this. I am in tears! I am in awe of your strength and determination. Your sweet girl and your family will certainly remain in my prayers. You all can beat that mean, nasty cancer! Hang in there.
    Abby

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  36. Chelsea, this simply magnificent writing! You will be forever grateful that you wrote just as you felt it, just as it happened. I think someday you should write a book about this. The blog makes it that much easier! We're with you in spirit! Love that undefeatable Carver spirit! How the Lord must love you. We know he is sending angels to watch over you!

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  37. I found you through Shawni's blog and I wanted to let you know that Cami and your family will be in my prayers. I was so moved by all of God's works in this situation!! He is so good - He used all those things to get her to where she needs to be - to healing!!
    May God give you all strength and surround you with His love!!!
    Vicki

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  38. Your family is in my prayers.
    I loved what you shared about listening to those little promptings, it is so true.

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  39. Thinking of your precious little girl and your family.. Sounds like you have something really good on your side a Dr. who takes the time to explain everything which for a mom is key. (my son has a serious heart defect and having your questions answered helps ease fears).
    Praying for Cami.
    Melissa

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  40. Found your page through Shawni's blog (LOVE her blog, although we don't know each other :) Your little girl and your entire family will be in my prayers. This has to be an extremely challenging time for her and for you and as a mother I cannot think of something more painful than seeing your child so sick. May you find your strength in the Lord as He is the great healer and He never leaves His children's side. May I share my favorite Bible verse? "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. Never give up hope and faith. Your little one is in His caring hands.

    Melanie T, RN

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  41. My name is Lindsey and I stumbled on this blog while searching for support groups for families dealing with Leukemia. We're an LDS family living in the Atlanta, GA area. My 16 month old daughter, Darby, was diagnosed with APL leukemia on April 5, 2010 and we are currently in the hospital for her third round of chemo. Our story of discovering this illness is so similar to yours. I know our Heavenly Father guided and prompted me as well. I just wanted you to know that your family is in our prayers. If you ever want a pen pal who can relate, my email is lfarns@gmail.com. It was a blessing to have stumbled onto this site and read your family's story.

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  42. Oh my gosh, I'm just sitting here at my computer bawling. You don't know me {found you through Shawni's blog} but I had to let you know that we'll keep your sweet Cami in our prayers. I have four little girls myself, and my heart breaks for you & your family. I can't even imagine! Yet at the same time, I KNOW our Heavenly Father will get you through this. One day at a time; he numbers his sparrows. Kisses to your sweet girl, we'll be praying for her.

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  43. Even though I don't know you, I try to imagine what you must be feeling at this time. And all I want to tell you is that Heavenly Father will never give us something that we can't bear. Sometimes that makes us feel like we wished we would be weaker so we wouldn't have heavy things thrown at us, but believe it or not there is a purpose for this challenge you have to face now.
    There will be a lot of people praying for you, and that is the best medicine that will help you sweet little daughter get through this. This little girl is happy to have you as her mother because you will fight for her with all the strenght in the world. All my best wishes for you and thank you for sharing this story.

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  44. oh my goodness I've had to keep wiping away the tears as I was reading just so I could read

    My heart breaks for you and your family and I will keep you in my prayers and keeping following you and your journey together

    thank goodness for a strong faith which you will need and obviously will give you comfort.

    please take care and know that lots of people will be praying for your dear little girl

    Corrie,
    Australia

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  45. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  46. Hi there- I clicked on a link on Shawni's blog and read your story. First of all, we will pray for Cami to be healed and to have the comfort and peace of God surround her. Secondly, we have been where you are. We made it through and we emerged stronger, happier and we 'get' life now. Our relationship with God is very strong and we are blessed to have each and every day.

    Our daughter Ellie was diagnosed in April 08 with a rare brain tumor. (s-PNET) She was 5 at the time. We had Divine Intervention every step of the way...so many signs. Our journey was long but amazing and instead of going into detail here - I will let you read about it if you want. Her website is located at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ellie1 .You have to click the last arrow on the journal to bring you to the beginning.

    I will continue to check in for updates on Cami's amazing progress.

    God Bless- Colleen Bouchard

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  47. Chelsea -- I had no idea your sweet little one had been diagnosed with Luekemia. We will keep Cam and all of you in our prayers. Love you! Stephanie

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  48. You guys don't know me, but I follow Shawnie Portier's blog and that is how I found you. I am so sorry for the diagnosis of Leukemia. I, myself, have stage 3 breast cancer, and I just finished surgeries/chemo/radiation treatments. You WILL get through this and you are already doing the right thing---noticing the blessings in your life!!!! Your family will be stronger because of this. I know our family is!!!
    We will pray for you!
    Lots of love,
    Christa Johnson

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  49. Bless your sweet child and family. We will pray for you all.

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  50. I literally broke into tears as I read your story, because I could've written it myself. The pain, the fear, the unknowns — all of it just feels so raw and real because I know exactly what you are going through.

    My family was in almost the exact same situation back in January when my own 4-year-old daughter was diagnosed with ALL, and I understand firsthand how devastating it is to have the rug pulled out from under you like that.

    We are now in our 7th month of treatment, and I can tell you that it does get easier, even if it doesn't feel like it ever will. For us, it is due in large part to my daughter's spirit through all of it (she's been a real trooper), and it sounds very much like your Cami is the same way :)

    Our children WILL beat this! Sending prayers and love from a mom who has been there!

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  51. I found your blog through Jennae who commented above (whom I have never met, but through cancer have been connected with), and agree with every word she wrote.

    My son was diagnosed in December 2009 at age 4, and as of June is in the maintenance phase. It is difficult, but once you find your "new normal" it gets much easier. It sounds like you are in excellent hands all around, and Cami is quite the little girl. Sending you positive vibes and our best to Cami and your family. Take care.

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  52. I found your blog through Shawni Eyre. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys. You are such a brave girl Cami! Hang in there and enjoy all the ice cream that you want!!!

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  53. I just happened to look at your fb today and saw this. I'm so sorry for all you guys have recently gone through and what she will have to endure. Reading Chelsea's posts reminds me of the day my baby had a seizure...the most traumatizing experience of my life...but she bounced back so fast and made me realize how much Heavenly Father has a hand in everything in our lives!~ You guys are incredible and so spiritual and strong! Your sweet little family will be in our prayers! I love Cami's sweet smile...it's so "addicting"!!! Love you Carver!
    (Hache Kah) - Kristen

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  54. I too found you through Shawni's blog. I don't know her either, but after reading about Cami's story, my heart and prayers truly are with her and your family. Our 9 month old daughter was actually at PCMC on the date that you first went up to the ER. She was there for 3 weeks, and before that, off and on for 2 months. 6 brain surgeries later, she is great. It is crazy how different our "new normal" can be from our "old normal". I do not understand what it is like to walk in your shoes, but from my experience of not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it takes absolute and complete faith in our Heavenly Father. My daughter's neurosurgeon once said that these babies are as tough as nails, and as for Cami, I believe that is the truth. I know the feeling of your heart breaking each day for your child, and being tired for them. I am so sorry that you, as her mother, has to watch her go through this. She is in great hands at PCMC.
    You are absolutely right to trust your instincts. You are Cami's advocate. I have learned this through my daughter's health trials. You might feel silly calling about a concern, but that is ok. I felt silly for feeling the way I did at one point and took her in, and that visit to the ER turned out to save her life.
    I could go on and on, but I won't. The Lord knows you and your family. He knows Cami. He knows that you all have the the proportional strenth to get through the trials that lay before you. He will walk hand in hand with you through this.!
    Cami is a beautiful little girl. Her sweetness shines through in her eyes and smile!
    Our family will be praying for you all.

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  55. Hi,
    You don't know me and I don't know you, but a friend shared your blog with me. I have worked closely with a group called Hope Kids, maybe you already know about them, but just in case you don't I thought I should share the information-they are a great-FREE-organization to help families with kids going through what your precious Cami is going through. If you want more info you can go to hopekids.org They do some really neat things.

    Also, for my job, I am Cinderella, Snow White, and Ariel for kids birthday parties - if your Cami is into Princesses and would ever like a visit from one-I would be MORE than happy to do that for her! Just email me at linseyholley@rocketmail.com (I am also on facebook, if that's easier) or you can call me at 801-693-8931

    Thanks so much for sharing your story with so many-I know you are giving hope to others. You will all be in my prayers.

    Love,
    Linsey Holley

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  56. Pat & Chelsea,
    I heard about your sweet Cami from my cousin, Jenny Powell. I am in tears as I read your blog. I honestly am in awe at the strength you both have. You will be Cami's rock through all of this. Cami seems so mature as well for a 4 year old for what she is having to go through! She is lucky to have you both and the support from great families and friends. You guys are in our prayers. Hang in there!!

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  57. I just want to say that I am praying for your little girl. It's amazing how resilient kids are, but I believe this is beyond resiliency. I think she is just inherently an amazingly brave girl. I'm praying for your whole family during this time. Stay strong.

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  58. I hadn't read that before. I knew her diagnosis day and had talked to you at the birthday bash, but still hadn't read that yet. I am forever touched. You write beautifully! I thought I would say that Cami is very strong, partly because she has such an amazing mom. I don't know you but well but have seen how you touch the lives of others that are going through similar circumstances. In a time where others want to serve you and your family, you are serving others and their families.
    I remember when Millie was first diagnosed finding out as much info about the cancer and her cancer was the best way for me to sleep at night. I ordered as many booklets with as much information as I could from the lymphoma society for me and my other family members. The more I knew the better I felt. As the mom I don't even want to ever imagine how the moment that you heard the words cancer felt. It's way too much emotion to even imagine.
    I also am grateful for the small voice that directs others and ourselves. Thank you for sharing that beautiful journal with all of us. Ok enough from me.

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  59. It's not fair for a little girl to have cancer it just isnt fair.

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  60. Aww. I was playing on my favorite website animaljam.com And I saw Cami's Frog. I learned more. It isn't fair for a child to have cancer. Infact. No one should have cancer. Cami seems like a nice girl. ♥

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  61. It's so sad how kids are diagnosed with cancer so young, and so innocent. I agree with you, it is unfair. But no doubt that you're sweet little girl will survive this awful sickness

    ~ thebeatles0042

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  62. Oh gosh this is the most heart-sinking story ever! I'm from animal jam and i have a cami's frog.Please tell Cami to be strong and to always take care at all times. recycledleaf (aj profile).

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  63. what a stong girl Cami is, and even stronger parents. Listen to those small voices they do seem silly at times but its worth it. I cant imagine what you all have been through. As i read and see all these messages from so many people it brings comfort and hope to see so many people caring.. Stay Strong and we will keep praying for your sweet family.

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  64. She is sooooo pretty!!

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  65. i wish i could help you out.... i'm too young to donate blood :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

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  67. Cami gives me hope in my darkest hours. If you read this, tell her she is a light to us all.

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  68. hey i play animal jam and i was watching some videos on you tube and i herd the story of cami and i pray for u and ur family 3 times everyday and trust me she will get better i promise pat

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  69. me 2
    i found it on youtube on AJ

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  70. where do u live? i wanna become friends with cami

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